I am healthy, employed, have friends and family that love me but yet there is something missing.
Am I craving Change? Adventure?
I'm not sure.
I sit here hiding behind my double 24 inch monitors 5 days a week and my heart aches for something new. I turn around and look out the window, I see Marble Mountain and snow covered hills that call my name.
In 2013 I visited British Columbia for the first time, I spent 2 weeks on vacation in Canada's Disneyland for Nature Lovers and Outdoor Enthusiasts.
I had some of the best times of my life.
I did things that I never imagined in a million years that I would do. Still to this day I never dreamt I would zip line. I Zip Lined on my very last day in BC and wore a smile that you couldn't wipe off my face for the rest of the day.
I faced my fear of heights on a daily basis, Climbing the Chief (Stawamus Chief) was a HUGE moment for me. So much so that I cried atop Peak 1 as I looked out over Squamish.
Why you ask?
Not what you were expecting? Me either.
Corner Brook seemed realistic, comfortable. 7.5 hours away from home, I could drive that in a day anytime I got the hankering to visit. 7.5 hours on an air plane, not so reasonable. In my mind Corner Brook was where I was meant to be.
I have been living here for almost three years now.
WHERE DOES THE TIME GO.....
Living on the West Coast of Newfoundland has always been that place for me.
This year I have been fortunate enough to have been selected as an Ambassador for Run Like A Girl, I landed a permanent full time job relevant to my educational background, I've met some amazing new people and just earlier this week I received an invitation to join the Oiselle Volee Team.
I am SO Lucky.
But why do I feel the need for such a drastic change?
As time passes, things change, our needs change and people grow. We are constantly learning new things about ourselves. What we like, what we don't like and that's okay. We are allowed to feel like we don't know our place in this world, or to not know what we want. Everything will come full circle in the end.
Change helps us feel alive. For some of us it is the fire that helps to extract amazing talents, qualities and characteristics that we didn't know lived within. For others it is terrifying, it makes us human. We need to honor all that we are, what makes us who we are. We need to own it.
It has taken me a long time to accept that I am still not sure where I want to be. I know that I want my summer home in Brigus, I want the house my grandmother grew up in SO BAD but I also want to play in the mountains daily and the East Coast can't offer me that. I know that I miss my family but will likely never move home ( Sorry Mom ), I know that I will always be a terrible athlete but will continue to strive to be the best I can be because running, cycling, and skiing make me feel Badass, Alive and most importantly Happy.
I will continue on my journey until I find my place, the place where things finally come full circle.
Life is too short to get caught up in what ifs. It's too short to be afraid of change, or trying something new.
As the saying goes, "The world is your oyster", or even better," Take the bull by the horn's".
You are the only person in control of your life.
-E
"Never forget to praise the mountains. To stay healthy and keep your mind wild. Never forget to embrace the small wins and push forward towards your dream"
-Lindsay MacNevin